Happy Ending
by nylasaur
Summary: Alma doesn't see their bodies that day at the Asian branch, and he and Kanda grow up together as exorcists. Major spoilers for later chapters of the manga. Warnings for violence, death, ableism, and... probably more that I'm not thinking of. Sorry!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Warnings for violence, death, ableism, and... probably more that I'm not thinking of. Sorry! Also, major spoilers! Please don't read this if you haven't read the Mystery of Kanda arc, because it won't make any sense to you!

This has not been edited, so what you're reading now will probably change. Most noticeably, Alma's pronouns might be a little weird, since I've messed with them... Anyway, I'm almost finished with the last chapter, so hopefully that will be up soon. It's only split into two because I can't quite get it finished! (Plus, my computer just died. So, tomorrow, probably.)

Thanks for reading!

* * *

Lavi lifted one hand off his knees and waved to the two exorcists when he saw them approaching from the bottom of the hill. Kanda saw him and turned his head away. Lenalee continued watching the battlefield from atop the hill, knowing she had to wait until Kanda and Alma arrived to continue her attack, but feeling jumpy not doing anything.

They interacted as usual – Alma chatting happily while Kanda ignored them – and Lavi watched them, grinning through his heavy breathing, and continuing to wave enthusiastically until Kanda finally obliged with a flick of his hand that, however small, let Alma know that there was someone at the top of the hill. Alma smiled happily and waved, speeding up his pace.

Lavi heard him talking animatedly as they approached, "...And – did I tell you about this already? – they said that they could get whatever I wanted in, if I just gave them a list! All I had to do was ask! It's just like you said!"

Kanda grunted in response. Lavi rushed up to greet them, and Lenalee followed close behind.

"Have you guys been briefed?" she asked, looking at each of them.

"Yep." Alma nodded.

"I still don't see why you can't do this without us. I was supposed to have a day off." Kanda looked pointedly at Lavi. "I guess this rabbit is just that worthless."

"Give me a break. You would have been training all day anyway."

Kanda clicked his tongue. It was true, but he didn't feel like admitting it. Alma laughed. "Although… why do you need us? Isn't it a pretty standard mission? Akuma attacking a town?"

Lavi blinked at them. "They didn't tell you?"

Alma shook his head, and Lenalee indicated for them to follow her.

They followed them up the hill. There were akuma everywhere – a sea of level one akuma, all slowly moving towards one central point. Alma squinted, trying to see what they were trying to get to. He stood on his toes, but he couldn't quite see. Kanda looked out impassively, although he squinted almost unnoticeably.

"They're… ignoring us."

Lenalee nodded tersely. "There's a level three in there."

"In the center?"

"At least one."

Lavi nodded. "Yeah, and – "

"They're combining," Kanda observed.

Alma followed his eyes to the grotesque creation of a level two. He looked back at Lenalee. "And the village?"

Lenalee shook her head, avoiding eye contact.

Alma continued, "If there's a level three, then…"

"Why the hell aren't you two fighting it?" Kanda interrupted.

Alma put his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him, but looked to Lavi and Lenalee for an answer.

"Calm down, Yuu! We're supposed to stay here!" Lavi held his hands up in submission, immediately defensive.

"Allen and General Klaud are already out there. I think they've sent more exorcists, too," Lenalee added. "They've called in whoever they can get. I think. My golem's been acting up, so I can't be sure. We were told to stay here and wait for you, and to guard this area. That's the last message I heard."

Looking back out, they could see flashes of innocence being activated and used, but the crowd of akuma kept advancing.

"Why didn't they mention any of this to us," Kanda growled.

"I don't know." Lenalee shook her head. "Maybe they didn't know."

Kanda kicked the ground. "So what the hell are we supposed to do, then?"

"Just take out the level ones before they combine, I guess," Lavi shrugged. He didn't waste another second before launching himself off the ground, using his hammer for support, and attacking the akuma that got in his way.

Watching him, Lenalee smiled back at them. After a moment, she took off after him.

Kanda looked back at Alma. He shrugged at him. Neither of their weapons let them fly through the air like Lenalee with her boots or Lavi with his hammer. Kanda turned around and strode angrily over to the highest point on the hill. Alma followed him, watching the fight in the distance.

Slowly, akuma began coming towards them, possibly sensing their fallen comrades. Lavi had to land every so often, and they followed him to the ground when he did. He seemed to have it under control, though. And, of course, Lenalee was holding her own, jumping from akuma to akuma and taking out each one as she landed on it. Kanda held up the border, although he didn't really see the point. They were clearly overpowered, but he just did as he was told, and slashed the akuma down as they approached him. He didn't see Alma, but he was sure he was doing the same.

He got into a rhythm of sorts, tuning everything out but the battle. His concentration was only broken when he heard screaming.

He tensed up. He would have frozen completely if he didn't have to keep killing akuma as they came along. He'd heard that akuma could scream, especially higher-level akuma, but he'd never heard it. And… this was a distinctly human scream. A survivor from the village, possibly. In any case, not his problem. His mission was to kill these akuma before they combined, and they were failing in that. They just kept coming. He saw flashes indicating the creation of higher-level akuma. He tried to block it out and keep fighting, but eventually he lowered his weapon and turned to inspect his surroundings. He kept his body positioned towards the battlefield, but craned his neck to look behind him.

Alma's mouth was wide open.

Kanda turned back to the akuma. He yelled back, "Alma, what the hell are you doing? Fight! This isn't the time for – this – you can't do this now!"  
The screaming continued.

"Alma!"

Lenalee landed a few feet from them. She brushed her hair out of her face as she rushed to Kanda's. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Kanda hissed. "He won't stop screaming."

"He hasn't said anything?"

Kanda shook his head, eyes still trained on the akuma that were coming more and more frequently.

He muttered, "I haven't seen him act like this since…" He shook his head.

Lenalee didn't hear, or ignored, Kanda's comment. "It's drawing them over here."

"I fucking _know_ that," Kanda snapped, "but what can I do? He're not saying anything! He's just fucking screaming."

Lenalee looked back at Alma, wanting to go to them, but knowing that she couldn't look away from the battlefield as it was right now; not for a single moment. The screaming continued.

"Damn it, Alma! We need you right now!" Kanda yelled over his shoulder.

"Kanda, shut up! You're not helping!"

"We don't have _time_ for this!"

"You think I don't know that?" Lenalee yelled at him, punctuating her sentence by kicking an akuma into another akuma, starting a chain reaction that destroyed them all.

Kanda gritted his teeth, cutting an akuma in half. "Why won't he _shut up_?"

"I don't know! I don't know!" Lenalee turned her head a bit towards Alma, taking care to keep the akuma in sight. His eyes were open, but there was no indication that he was seeing what was in front of them. He didn't move. "Alma! Are you all right? …Alma!"

Kanda stayed turned away, covering for Lenalee.

Receiving no response but continued screaming, she focused on the battle again. "We're just going to have to protect him until he recovers."

"Fuck," Kanda said.

"Shit," Lenalee agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:

There's no happy ending.

Again, this is unedited, so what you're seeing here may change.

Also, again, warnings for suicidal thoughts, suicide, violence, death, and, _major spoilers._

* * *

They fought in tandem. Lavi looked back often from further down, but he apparently assumed that they had it under control.

Lenalee turned when the screaming stopped, but Kanda just watched out of the corner of his eye, never taking his eyes off of the akuma as he took him out. He covered for Lenalee when akuma approached where she couldn't see.

Alma had activated his innocence. The blade hung, like his other arm, at his side.

"Thank God," Lenalee said, walking towards him. "Are you all – "

"Watch out!" Kanda yelled, interrupting Lenalee to destroy the akuma that had launched itself towards her. He turned to berate her, "You have to be more – "

The words dropped from his mouth when he saw Lenalee. She layon the ground, bleeding from her stomach and completely motionless. He'd thought he'd gotten the akuma before it could hurt her, but he must have been too late – but…

Lavi landed – hard – not too far away from him, running to keep his balance. He breathed heavily and dropped down next to Lenalee. "Lenalee! Lena – Lenalee – are you – "

"If she were alive, she'd be up by now."

"No – she – she could – what the hell?" Lavi stopped his inspection of her wound, lifting his hand and staring at the blood. "This isn't – what is this – this isn't an akuma – this…"

At that moment, both Lavi and Kanda looked up to see Alma, his weapon dripping with blood – Lenalee's blood. Lavi stood, drawing his innocence.

"What the hell – !" Kanda threw his hand in Lavi's way to hold him back.

"Stop."

"Like hell I'm going to stop! You can't protect him, they just – they – _Alma!_"

"Shut up," Kanda hissed, his eyes never leaving Alma, standing motionless and unblinking a few feet away, as he took out an akuma behind his back. "You're drawing him over here."

"_I'm _drawing them over here!? Don't blame this on me! Alma's the one who was just _screaming_ and now – they – Lenalee – " Lavi turned on Alma, screaming at him, trying to get some sort of reaction. He snapped his fingers in Alma's face. "Alma! What's wrong with you? _Alma! _Why did you do this!?"

"Stop it."

"No, I – !"

"We need Alma. We're overpowered."

From behind him, they heard an explosion that rocked the ground. Turning, they saw flashes of green and white, and mechanical cackling came from the center of the battlefield. The lower level akuma swirled around the center as the ground shook again with the akuma's voice, laughing. "I'm a level four!"

They looked at each other. "The sprout," Lavi said, his eyes wide. "The General! Everyone else – !"

"We need Alma," Kanda repeated.

"Like Hell I'm going to fight on the same side as this – this – they just – Kanda! You can't seriously be taking his side! Why are you so – fucking – are you _blind? _Can't you see what just happened? She's _dead_! And – you don't even _care_!" Lavi was screaming and crying at the same time, but Kanda kept the same expression.

"Cover me."

"I'm not leaving you with her! You're not – "

Kanda jumped in front of Lavi just before Alma slashed at him. Lavi yelped in protest, but he fell silent, mouth still open, and stumbled back, put off balance by the force of Kanda's pushing him out of the way. Kanda blocked the brunt of the blow with his sword, but he felt Alma's innocence cut into his shoulder.

"Cover me," he hissed. He didn't even look at Lavi.

Lavi walked away silently, throwing glances back at Alma and Kanda. He launched himself into the air again, taking out as many akuma as he could, and trying not to think about what was happening on the ground.

Kanda approached Alma slowly, saying his name. Alma said nothing, but lifted his weapon, his eyes trained on Kanda. Kanda blocked him again.

The silence was almost more unsettling than the screaming, Kanda noticed. Alma attacked again and again, and Kanda just kept blocking his advances. What else could he do? He could see Alma's face; he could see that they were crying, but he didn't know what to do. Alma's advances pushed him closer and closer to the edge of the hill. If he wasn't careful, they were going to fall. He couldn't get Alma to change his course – it had been hard enough to make sure they hadn't stepped on Lenalee's corpse. At the thought of her, he pushed his blade against Alma's weapon. His sword slipped from his hands with the force, and he stumbled backwards, falling on the grass.

Before he could get back up, Alma spoke, standing over him and lifting his weapon. "I'm sorry, Yuu."

"If you're sorry, then stop," Kanda whispered, looking straight into Alma's eyes. It was impossible to disguise the falseness of the hatred in his eyes.

"I can't." Alma shook his head, dropping his arms to his side. They smiled sadly. "We're both – we can't – I have to kill you. There's no other way. We both have to die. You, me, everyone in the order."

They looked up at Kanda, eyes pleading. He took the opening and slashed at Alma's chest.

Alma stumbled backwards. "There's no other way!" they repeated.

"_Live_," Kanda said, raising mugen again.

"I can't!" Alma choked. They held out his hand, backing away further. His chest wound was healing rapidly, but they were still bleeding. "We can't! We can't keep living! This – who we are – it's _wrong_!"

Kanda shook his head, positioning his sword at Alma's neck.

"Help me, Yuu. Help me destroy this organization. Then, we'll die together."

"No."

"They did this to us!" Alma screamed. "We have to destroy him! Yuu – we're not even human! Yuu!" His crying grew louder, his voice more desperate. "Yuu! I – we – we're just _bodies_ – we're – "

"I know."

Alma stopped in his tracks. His eyes narrowed, and he stepped forward. "You _know_?"

Kanda looked away.

"You _knew_ about this? You _knew _that they did this to us? That we're not – that we're – you _knew_?"

He remained silent.

"You're just as bad as they are," Alma snarled, raising his weapon once again. They lunched towards Kanda, but Kanda lowered his sword and thrust it into Alma's gut as they came towards him. They crumpled to the ground, blood pouring out of his stomach. "We both have to die, Yuu."

"I can't die here."

Alma laughed ruefully, wincing at the pain it caused him. He forced himself back to his feet. "You don't have a choice."

"There's something I have to do before I die." Kanda growled, advancing on Alma again.

He blocked Kanda's attack. They were silent. The sounds of the weapons hitting one another were, again, the only indication that they were there, two exorcists fighting one another, while the battle against the akuma raged on behind him.

"There's someone I have to find," Kanda said.

After that, Alma didn't resist. After a moment, he deactivated his innocence, allowing Kanda to cut him deeply across the chest. Kanda stopped. Alma's eyes, filled with fire and determination just a moment ago, fell flat, and looked out into the distance instead of at Kanda.

"Alma…"

"Yuu…" Alma finally looked into Kanda's eyes. He was crying again, but they were slow tears. He wasn't angry, he wasn't upset; he was just sad. "Kill me."

Kanda stepped back. "What?"

"Kill me. I can't do it myself. But – I can't – not like this – " Alma stepped closer to Kanda, gripping his arm desperately.

"I'm not going to kill you!" Kanda pushed Alma's hand off of his arm. He couldn't say anything more. He kept his weapon poised for attack and stared Alma down.

"Kill me."

"No!"

"Kill me."

Kanda shoved Alma away from him. "Shut up! What's wrong with you!?"

Alma shook his head. There was so much to say, but there weren't enough words. There wasn't enough time. "If you don't kill me…" He looked up at Kanda, smiling sadly, and reactivated his innocence. "I'll kill you. And then I'll kill myself."

They clashed again, but Kanda didn't advance. He just blocked Alma's attacks.

"Kill me."

"No!"

"We can die together, Yuu…"

"I can't die today."

"Then kill me."

Kanda paused. He forced coldness into his eyes. "Fine. If I have no other choice."

Alma looked up, both shocked and relieved. This was what he wanted, wasn't it? As long as Kanda didn't know, right? The rest didn't matter. Those who had done this didn't matter. As long as Kanda didn't know. As long as he could die without Kanda knowing. Then it was all okay. Nothing else mattered.

Maybe Kanda could have hope.

He slashed into Alma over and over. Even when he stopped moving. He knew Alma wouldn't die that easily. Couldn't die that easily. He was staring at Alma as he killed him, but he didn't take in what he was seeing. He didn't see Alma's tears stop in his final moments of consciousness. He didn't see Alma's lips move, mouthing, "Thank you."

He had no idea how long it took for Alma to stop regenerating. He had no sense of time passing. He felt as if they were suspended, in a separate world. It was just them in the end, just as it had been in the beginning.

Standing over Alma's motionless body, Kanda thought maybe he understood why Alma had been so happy when he'd awoken. He felt something leave him when it was clear that Alma was dead. Something was missing from him.

Kanda turned way from Alma's body and looked out at the sea of akuma. He dropped his sword. The battlefield was completely silent. The akuma hung in the air along with the smell of blood, but they were moving away. Kanda could see the higher-level akuma at the head of the group, leading the way. He wondered if they were moving towards the Order.

No one was out there, fighting them off. They must have all died in battle. The rabbit. The beansprout. General Klaud. And Lenalee had said there were more. All dead, now. Was it just him?

He forced himself not to avert his eyes from Alma's body as he walked past it towards Lenalee's corpse. He hesitated a moment before reaching down to take Lenalee's golem from her jacket.

Silence. He slammed it onto his other hand. Static.

Right, she'd said it wasn't working, hadn't she? There might not be anyone to talk to on the other end, anyway. Maybe it was better not to know.

He didn't know what to do. There were no orders to obey. There was no one to give him orders. There might not even be an Order anymore. Should he just fight the akuma he could reach, even though there was no chance of winning against the thousands of akuma?

As he thought about it, this was his chance to get away from the Order and search for that person. This is what he'd always wanted, wasn't it? But now that he had the opportunity, he didn't want to go. That drive – which had always kept him going, kept him living, kept him moving – was gone. He couldn't sense that person's presence. She had always been with him, but now he felt nothing. It wasn't just the absence of that person. He felt nothing. No anger towards Alma. No sadness about the deaths of his friends. Nothing.

So Kanda did what he knew how to do. He fought. It came naturally. He didn't have to think about it. He didn't have to feel anything.

Until his last breath, he fought.

And he died in vain.

They all died in vain.


End file.
